Q:Should I use a cup?

A:Once your baby is six months old,the sucking action he uses to strengthen his jaw and to get his feed from a breast or bottle isn't necessary.If you try using cup now,it will ease the transition off the breast or bottle.Health professionals recommend dropping the bottle by your baby's first year because milk can pool around the teeth and cause decay.Spending a lot of time with a teat in his mouth may also delay your baby's speech.

Q:How to I wean my baby off breastmilk?

A:Once your baby is eating a wide range of foods,he may cut down on breastfeeding of his own accord.
 If you want to help the process along,try swapping one breastfeed to a bottle.As soon as your breasts have adjusted to missing on feed,drop another,striking a balance between breast and bottle.It doesn't matter which feed you drop first,but it's usually best dropping the one where your milk supply is least good.You can also shorten each feed so your breasts are never fully emptied,then they'll produce less milk.You will of course need to top up with a bottle at the end of each feed to make sure your baby is getting all the food he needs. 

Q:When should I stop breastfeeding?

A:The choice is yours.While the World Health Organisation recommends giving your baby nothing but breastmilk for the first six month,real life has a habit of getting in the way.A return to work,
for example,could make formula more convenient.
 Your baby will need less milk once you introduce solid food at six months,but he may still enjoy breastfeeding for comfort and reassurance.This is why many experts recommend child-led weaning,letting your baby or toddler decide when he wants to stop breastfeeding.
 If you have an actual deadline,like going back to work,give yourself at least three weeks to wind down breastfeeding.This gives you time to get your baby used to a bottle,if he's never had one,and reduces the risk of your breasts becoming engorged.

Q:Is it OK to put a newborn to sleep on his side?My health visitor says it can help colic.

A:There's no doubt that the best position to put a baby to sleep is on his back as this is known to reduce the risk of cot death.So my advice would be to always put a baby to sleep in this position.
 Once he can roll over by himself,usually at about five months,your baby may choose to manoeuvre onto his side and there's no need to continually reposition him.The risk of cot death has significantly reduced by this age anyway.
 The worry about sleeping on his side is that he could roll forward onto his stomach overnight.Your health visitor may say it's OK,but I can't.

Q:My 11 month old keeps waking up at 5.30 in the morning,which means he's then tired by breakfast time.What can I do?

A:It's common for babies to wake earlier in the summer months due to the lighter mornings.Try putting up blackout blinds at your baby's windows,which will keep the room dark and encourage your baby to sleep longer.
 Since he's already tired by breakfast,it may help to eat earlier so that you know he's not hungry when he wants to sleep.Aim to keep him up until he's eaten,so he'll have a good sleep with a full tummy.
 Then look at your routine and check he's not getting too much daytime sleep.Is he sleeping more than three hours in total,for instance?Or is he sleeping late in the afternoon?If so,this may mean he won't need as much sleep at night and will therefore wake early the next morning.Ideally he shouldn't sleep past 4pm - this will ensure that he's tired for his nighttime sleep and will hopefully stop him waking you up at the crack of dawn. 

Q:I'm finding it exhausting cooking three meals a day for my eight month old,but don't want to feed her from jars.Any tips on easy,nutritious meals?

A:Babies are as happy with a rice cake as they are with a roast,and food from a jar won't do any harm.Not compared with having a stressed-out,exhausted mum anyway.
 You could batch-cook once a week,then freeze individual portions,so you're not cooking from scratch every day.Dishes like pasta bakes and one-pot stews let you cook for the whole family,making life easier.You can also freeze mashed vegetables for an instant 'side'.Freeze in an icecube tray,then pop out and store cubes in sealed bags.
 There are some safety points about freezing.Don't use meat and fish that have already been frozen or defrosted.Don't reheat cooked rice,from the fridge or freezer,as it activates germs that cause food poisoning.
 Another idea is to serve raw foods - items like baby tomatoes,carroy sticks,fruit and cubes of cheese make a quick but nutritious lunch.

Q:My one year old keeps taking her nappy off.Surely it's too early for me to start potty training her?

A:She's quite young for this at one.For potty training to succeed,a child needs to be physically and emotionally ready,as well as willing to cooperate.
  Do respond to her behaviour,though.She's letting you know that she's learning about her body - how it feels with and without a nappy,wet or otherwise.Observe her to see if there are signs of recognition of different bodily functions,such as staying still while she wees or straining to poo.Talk to her about what she's doing - 'Does your nappy needs changing?' or even,'Do you need to use the potty?' You may find she's more comfy without a nappy - but be prepared for mess.
 Another response is to try training pants - these absorb wees and poos but,unlike a nappy,your child will immediately feel wet.This allows you to introduce the next stage while still providing the security of a nappy.

Q:I've noticed my baby has a squint in a couple of her baby photos.Should I take her to the doctor?

A:A squint is where the eyes don't look in the same direction.A newborn baby's eyes move independently,so it may look as though she has a squint,but after a few weeks,this will settle.Her eyesight will mature and her eyes should become coordinated.
 One in 20 babies has a squint that persists after three months,and at this stage it's important that you take your baby to a doctor,who can arrange for her to be assessed by an optometrist.Most commonly,one eye looks inwards,but it can also mean an eye looks out,up or down.The optometrist will probably suggest using patches to cover your baby's stronger eye for a short while each day.This will encourage her brain to concentrate on the messages from the squinting eye and improve the vision.
 Patching won't correct the appearance of the squint,though.In severe cases,she may need an operation when she's older to straighten the eye.

Q:My 10 month old refuses to nap in his bed and only drops off in the car or buggy.What can I do?

A:This is common at this age as your baby's amending his sleep pattern depending on his daytime activity - if he's had a busy morning,expect him to rest earlier.
 Observe his sleep signals.As soon as your baby starts yawning,rubbing his eyes,being unsettled or staring into space,take him to his room.Miss these and he'll get overtired and be harder to settle.
 Try keeping a record of when these sleep signals occour and his naps.Hopefully you'll notice recurring times when he's most likely to settle.Most babies find a vague routine reassuring and settling.Remember - putting him down when he's not tired will be ineffective,too.

Q:Our toddler has an active imagination and has become convinced there are monsters in the wardrobe.No amount of reassuring helps.What's our next step?

A:When children get anxious,they'll look to their parents for reassurance and guidance.It's a fine balance between reassuring and giving too much attention to the concern,and suggesting the worry is valid.In the case of monsters,if you actually check that there are no monsters,it may suggest to your little one that you weren't sure yourself!
 Try changing your tactics.At bedtime when the question come,calmly and confidently state there are no monsters and leave it at that.Continue on your settling routine with no other discussion about it.Be consistent in this approach and the phase will pass.

Q:Our 3 year old sulks horribly,crying and whinging when he can't get his own way.It's driving us crazy!Any suggestions?

A:It's wearing when toddlers express frustration through whinging and can quickly become a habit.Deal with it by focusing on aspects of behaviour you would like more of.Look for times when he's co-operating and being delightful and comment positively on it,spending more time playing with him and giving cuddles.Encourage good behaviour and reduce recognition of negative behaviour.When you set a boundary and say 'No',do it calmly and stick to it.
 Move away if you need to,try and distract him unless he's making too much fuss.If he is,let him get it out of his system,then distract him,when you think he will be able to listen.Keep your face and voice neutral,stay calm and be consistent.

Q:My 2-year-old's speech is quite behind that of his peers (he can only say 'mama','dada' and a few other simple words).Our health visitor's recommended speech therapy,but my partner doesn't want to do it and thinks I'm over-reacting.What should I do?

A:You have picked up on your child's need for some support with his language development nice and early.The sooner he receives therapy the better,as it will help in all areas of his communications,relieving frustration,minimising tantrums,helping his social skills and readiness for school.Speech therapy is delivered in a way that suits the individual child,usually in a group session with other children and is often enjoyable.Try and involve your partner by getting him to call the speech therapist or health visitor to discuss his concerns.Encourage him to attend a session and see how it all works.Your child may only need a short period of therapy and you'll receive some tips on how to help at home,too.

Q:Trying to keep everyone happy is making me feel overwhelmed.My baby won't sleep,my partner works all hours and I feel isolated from my friends.I spend large parts of the day crying.Help!

A:Firstly,you musn't be responsible for anyone except yourself and your baby.Talk to your health visitor about how you're feeling,as he or she can help you manage your baby's sleep routine.Some of these feelings are normal as you get to grips with being a mum,but it could indicate that your mood is low and you need support.
 Making new friends with women in the same situation will relieve some of the isolation you feel.Even though it's hard when confidence is low,try new mum groups at children's centres.And talk to your partner about how you feel.It'll be another important step in making things better for the whole family.

Q:My baby has been diagnosed with reflux and prescribed medication.How else can we help him?

A:Dealing with reflux can be tough for the whole family,but medicines and adapting some of your routines can have a positive outcome.
To ease things a little,try:
*Keeping your baby upright in feeds and for around 30 minutes after to help prevent acid coming up.
*Elevating the head of his cot by 30' by putting something under the legs of the cot.This minimises the impact of acid regurgitation.
*Small,frequent feeds,especially if he's sick,as he'll feel hungry quickly.
*Slow,calm feeding with frequent stops to allow burping.
*Avoid your tot slumping over in car seats as this can compress the abdomen.
*Avoiding tight elastic on clothing around the tummy or putting nappies on too tight.

Q:My baby bay has been breastfed for eight months and now refuses to take a bottle or sippy cup.I'm worried that he doesn't eat enough solid food and he's not getting enough milk from me.Any advise?

A:From around 6 months babies are generally ready for more solid foods.The best option is to maintain a relaxed approach to food,but consistent.Your milk supply will increase the more you offer,but keep your baby's options open by offering finger foods,a small baby spoon and let him try suitable foods from your plate.Realistically,in the beginning he may just squish,smell,hold and lick food before any of it's actually eaten.This is all a normal,healthy approach and an important step in weaning,so give lots of smiles and positive eye contact.Once he's taking some foods,include the recommended vitamin drops ( vitamins A,B,C and D from your chemist) in it too.Keep going with a feeder beaker filled with water by showing him how to do it,and eventually he will try it himself.

Q:I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffering awful nausea,which makes commuting really difficult.How much longer will it last?

A:Feeling sick can be as bad as actually being sick,and is quite draining in the early weeks.For some of it continues throughout,but for the majority it gets better by the 12-week stage.Nausea is often worse when blood sugar is low,so do eat little and often - having breakfast before leaving house.
   Tiredness makes it worse,so grab a nap or go to bed early.Also,try to alter work hours to avoid travelling during the time you feel most ropey.Mints can help too,so keep a packet in your bag,and try acupressure bands.These wristbands have a 'button' which,when pressed,apply pressure to the part linked with sickness.Used by travellers,they're available from most chemists.

Q:My midwife said she could give me an internal to start labour if I go past my due date.How does it work?

A:What she's referring to is a stretch and sweep.This is offered if your due date comes and goes,as it can kick start labour and reduces the likelihood of being induced.Your midwife can do this in the clinic or at home - it shouldn't feel painful,but may be a bit uncomfortable.She'll ask you to lie down before placing two fingers into the vagina.One then goes inside the cervix,making a circular motion to 'stretch' it so she can 'sweep' a finger around the bag holding the water (the membranes).
   If this doesn't start labour,you could repeat the process,but leave it at least 48 hours.Remember,a full-term pregnancy can last up to 42 weeks and most women only go into labour when ready.

Q:I'd like to deliver my placenta naturally.Can I choose to,or will I have to have the injection?

A:Whether or not you have the injection will probably depend on the type of birth you have.If it's natural one,you might like to complete the process without the injection,but it usually takes longer for the placenta to be delivered in this way.However,once your baby is born he'll stay attached by cord and get a boost of oxygen and blood through it,until it stops pulsating after about 20 minutes.The placenta takes around an hour to separate,and your body will produce natural bonding hormones (oxytocin),boosted by holding and looking at your baby while he's still attached.the hormones cause the uterus to contract,and the placenta will separate and come away.
   If you've had intervention such as forceps,ventouse,an epidural or you're anaemic,you'll be advised to have an injection of syntometrine and the placenta will come away in around 10 minutes.

Q:We had a difficult time recently and have relied on TV to distract our toddler.How should we break the habit now things are calmer?

A:The main issue with too much telly is that it's a passive activity,doesn't require much interaction and can be addictive.This may lead to less chance for your tot to develop language,play and social skills,and get enough physical activity.However,everything in moderation is a sensible approach.
   Set some family rules;decide which programmes your tot can watch,ideally no longer than 30 minutes a day,and stick to it.Try to watch the programme together and chat about it to develop her language skills.Make the most of the house,as this will create less opportunity to watch TV and keep your toddler stimulated,active and curious about the world.

Q:My 3 year old has picked up a swear word.How should I deal with it?

A:When using a swear word your toddler enjoys the look of shock,frustration,and perhaps even amusement that he may see on grown-ups' faces,which will only encourage him.Totally ignoring the word is often the quickest way to stop him saying it.So all the adults in his life need the same consistent approach when he swears - keep a straight face,avoid eye contact,turn away and focus on something else.Inevitably your tot may increase the behaviour for a few days as he tries to get the reaction he's used to,but stick with it and he'll soon get bored.You could also try and replace the word with another like "Oh bother",or something made up and funny,but keep the focus on the swear word to minimum.Make sure everyone minds their language at home,too.

Q:My 4 year old is still wetting the bed.I'm too embarrassed to talk to other mums about it.What should I do?

A:Research suggest that 1 in 5 children still aren't dry at night by the time they're 4 to 5 years old,so don't be embarrassed as it's a common issue.Your child's not yet at an age for you to worry,but you can take steps to help her.Encourage her to drink fluids during the day,at her age,it should be 1-1.4 litres a day (avoid caffeinated drinks,such as cola).This should make her wee around 4-7 times a day,including before bedtime.Don't reward dry nights as it's out of her control,but you can reward her for taking regular drinks and loo breaks.Buy some protective mattress covers and light pyjamas that wash and dry easily.Keep any night bed changes short and sweet,to keep her self-esteem intact.If she's still reliably wet at night by the time she starts school,ask the school nurse for support.

Q:My toddler terrified of insects.What can we do to make summer bearable?

A:When a child meets insects for the first time,it often goes one of two ways - endless fascination or worry and anxiety.If your tot shows fear by crying or shouting at you to get the bug away from him,what he really wants is to see what you do.Your reaction will tell him whether he needs to worry or not.If you start frantically swatting the bug away,it sends a clear message that there's something to be scared of.
    So when your toddler reacts to an insect,stay calm,acknowledge what he's seen and that he doesn't like it ("Yes,I can see the wasp,and I know you're not keen on those").This tells him you understand his fear.The next step is to just carry on with what you were all doing,or distract him with something new.This kind of calm response will see his confidence grow.

Q:My 2 year old has started to throw major tantrums,resulting in her being sick if we don't give in.Help!

A:Tantrums are reassuringly common,with one in five 2 year olds having at least once a day.They are more common at this age because your tot's frustrated at not being able to express her needs.As her communication skills develop,tantrums will decrease.
   Your tot is so overwhelmed with emotion that she's being sick,but try to avoid focusing on this if you can,as it just reinforces the behaviour.Try and work out if there's reason for her tantrum,such as tiredness or hunger,and deal with it before it goes too far.Avoid common triggers,such as long shopping trips.If a tantrum is looming,try to distract her.It's hard to keep calm,but your toddler is losing control and that's scary for her so she needs you to be able to cope.

Q:My 18 month old started pulling my hair while I was pregnant.How can I get him to stop?

A:Hair pulling often starts as an accidental tug,which provokes a reaction from you.Your tot will then pull your hair again,causing an even bigger reaction,and so a cycle of bad behaviour begins.Your pregnancy may have triggered it because he was jealous,and he quickly learned that hair pulling gets a response - even if it's not a nice one,it's better than no attention at all.Next time he pulls your hair,calmly take his hand from your head,avoid eye contact,put him down,and walk away.When the situation has cooled,tell him that hair pulling is not allowed and that he must be gentle.Initially he may be confused and up the rate of hair pulling.The whole family needs to be consistent in its approach.Don't talk about it when your son's around,as it's just giving him attention in a different way.Combine this approach with lots of praise when he's gentle,and talk about his good behaviour when he's in earshot.

Q:My maternity leave is up and I want to express milk at work.My employer is sympathetic and has asked what I need.Any tips?

A:It takes a little organisation to express at work hours but once you get settled into a routine it'll be fine.You'll need a private room,such an empty office,and access to a fridge for storing milk (make sure you label your bottles to avoid milk mix-ups!).You'll also need to take breast pads,bottles,and change of tops just in case.At work,try to express regularly so your breasts don't get uncomfortably full.Carrying a picture of your baby can help when expressing,but the most important thing is to be relaxed.Always label your stored milk with the date and time of expressing,and use a cool bag to take your milk home.

Q:My 3 week old cries all the time.Is this normal?

A:Your baby's cry is designed to grab your attention,and most mums find it upsetting.Often crying increases between 2-6 weeks of age,and at around 3 weeks some babies can cry for up to 8 hours in 24 hours.Your baby is working out whether you're there when she needs you.If you can respond to your baby's cries during this time,her confidence will increase.Your baby just needs you to try and work out if she's hungry,hot,cold,needs a nappy change,or has wind.At times just being near her is the best you can do,so try carrying her in a sling.Rocking,stroking,cuddling,singing or massaging may distract her.Try to get out every day,as a change of scene will help you both.You can also see your doctor to check your baby is healthy.This tough time will pass.

Q:My baby has a sore bottom that comes and goes.Is it teething or something else?

A:Most babies get nappy rash from time to time.The main causes are prolonged contact with wee or poo,rubbing or chaffing of the nappy,irritation from soaps,detergents or baby wipes,and diarrhoea or general illness when your baby is taking less fluid and his urine is more concentrated.Teething in itself won't cause your little one's sore bottom,so keep an eye on things,as it may be the beginning of an illness.Prevention is the best treatment,so be vigilant and change wet or dirty nappies more frequently - this may be as much as 10 times a day in young babies.Take extra care in washing the nappy area,using plain water and drying in all the creases carefully.Let your baby be nappy free regularly throughout the day to help air circulate,and try a barrier cream to protect the skin.Finally,with recurring nappy rash it's worth considering if there's a thrush infection.Speak to your doctor,who can prescribe a fungal cream,which will clear up the infection.

Q:My last labour was really quick and I worry I won't get to the hospital in time.Should I ask to be induced?

A:Induction isn't the answer as it can cause problems if your body isn't ready for labour.Why not plan for a home birth so the midwives can come to you rather than risk having a baby en route to the hospital?
   Even if a home birth is not your plan A,you could have it as a back-up plan in case labour comes on quickly.If it does and you don't think you'll get to hospital in time,unlock your door and call an ambulance.Keep your bottom close to the floor and if your baby is born before help arrives,it's crucial to keep him/her warm and dry.Rub him with towels,or whatever clean cloth is at hand,then place him on your chest against your skin and cover him.Don't attempt to cut or clamp the cord,and help should soon be with you.

Q:I'm really worried my baby will be huge,as people are commenting on the size of my bump.Should I have another scan?

From around 25 weeks of pregnancy your midwife will measure your bump size and will probably plot the growth on a chart in your notes.If she had any concerns,she'd refer you to the hospital to see a doctor.How you bump looks is influenced by lots of things,such as how many babies you've had before,how your baby's lying,and your height and size.
   Scans,particularly at the end of pregnancy,aren't too accurate in estimating the size of a baby,so aren't that useful.Not all babies will be an average weight and they do tend to grow to fit,so trust in your body.If you're still worried,tell your midwife so she can reassure you and explain what she's feeling when she measures your bump.

Q:I'm finally pregnant after trying for a over a year.Instead of feeling delighted,I'm anxious and tearful.Should I seek help?

A:It's not surprising you're feeling anxious after trying for a baby for so long.Many women can't believe it's really happened,and fear something will go wrong in the pregnancy.Tiredness is very common in the first trimester,which can make you tearful,but it's important to recognise what are normal feelings and what may be prenatal depression,which affects around 10 per cent of mums-to-be.Many women struggle with the changes - either physical,relationship or career - that pregnancy brings.
   Pregnancy can also trigger issues you may have had with your own parents during your childhood.Tell your midwife about any depression or anxiety at your check-ups,but don't wait for your next appointment if you're feeling low.Ask for an earlier appointment,or see your doctor,who can refer you for extra support and if necessary prescribe anti-depressants.Try to get support from other women by going to aquanatal,yoga or antenatal classes.

Q:Why is my toddler so shy and what can I do to help?

A:Every toddler can be shy sometimes.Even when a 2 year old is bubbly and effervescent most of the time,she can become overwhelmed with shyness when faced by a huge array of unfamiliar children and adults.
    Meeting unfamiliar relatives at a family gathering or attending a new playgroup can be a challenge for her.You may be surprised how your confident toddler - who's normally friendly and ready to chat - tries to hide behind you when someone she doesn't know tries to engage her in conversation.

Reasons for shyness
There is no single source of your toddler's shyness.Much depends on her personality,her social experience,and you and your partner.One explanation is that shyness is genetically inherited from parents,just as other characteristics are inherited.For instance,the level of shyness of identical twins (who have almost identical genetic structures) are closer than the level of shyness of non-identical twins (whose genetic structures are no more similar than any two siblings).
   However,it could simply be that mum and dad are more likely to treat siblings in the same way when they look the same.For instance,they are more likely to expect them both to be outgoing or both to be shy,and therefore will behave towards them in a way that encourages such expectations.
   Likewise,shy parents tend to have shy toddlers,but this could be due to the toddler copying the model of social behaviour that they see at home,and might be nothing to do with genetics.

Signs of shyness
Toddler shyness isn't always obvious.
Here are some signs to look out for
*Looking down.Your child has a problem making eye contact with the other person,and suddenly finds her feet fascinating
*Embarrassment.She can't stop her face from going red when entering a room full of toddlers,even when some are her friends.
*Dry mouth.Due to tension,her mouth goes dry,and this causes her to have difficulty speaking,and perhaps difficulty swallowing.
*Immobility.A shy toddler may stay rooted to the spot,unable to move at all.She stands there helplessly,not saying or doing anything.
*Reluctance.If she is particularly shy,she may struggle with you when led into a room containing unfamiliar people.
*Silence.A shy toddler hates attention and tries to ignore it.That's why she might simply say nothing to someone who speaks to her.


5 ways to boost your toddler's confidence
1.Avoid excessive pressure.Don't force your toddler into social situations that terrify her,as this will just intensify her shyness.
2.Give positive comments.Remind your tot that she's a lovely child and others her own age will want to play with her.
3.Don't allow social avoidance.If you let your toddler play on her own all the time,she won't have any opportunities to learn how to overcome her shyness.
4.Show her what to do.Teach her how to interact with a toddler she doesn't know,for instance,by offering the other child a toy.
5.Organise play activities.Arrange for one or two friends from her playgroup to play with her at home.Social successes in familiar surroundings will boost her confidence.

Q:I'm potty training my son,but he refuses to poo in his potty or toilet.Help!

A:Lots of toddlers find the move from nappy to potty more difficult when it comes to pooing,so rest assured that it's quite normal.Start by avoiding any chat within the family about potty training when your little one's around.If everyone is always discussing his toilt habits,it'll just increase his anxiety.Only let him overheard good news about himself.Focus on a diet that has plenty of fruit and fibre,with good amounts of fluid to reduce constipation and the possibility of painful poos.All this will take a week or so.Next,try letting him sit on the potty with his nappy on while he does a poo.When he does that,give him plenty of praise.The next stage is to build up to removing his nappy.This will all take time,maybe a few months,so try to keep your approach relaxed and confident.

Q:My two year old has had a stuffy nose for months.Could he have hay fever?

A:It's unusual for young children to suffer from hay fever,but not unheard of.The most common causes of a stuffy nose are repeated viral colds,exposure to tobacco smoke or an allergy to house dust or potentially pollen.It could also be a tiny toy stuck up your tot's nose!
   If you can rule all these out,keep a record of when his symptoms start.If hay fever is to blame,you'll notice symptoms are worse in the morning and evening,at particular times of year,or when he spends more time outside.Having a family history of hay fever may also increase the likelihood of your tot suffering.
   To help reduce discomfort,try indoor play at 'trigger' times.Outside,smear a little Vaseline around his nostrils to catch any irritating pollen.Also see your doctor,who may prescribe antihistamines. 

Q:I feel the time is right to introduce my new partner to my 3 year old.Any advice?

A:There are no real rules for these sensitive situations,as each family has to do what's right for them.Set out some clear expectations with your partner about how much involvement you both thinks he'll have in your family life.Explain to your toddler you've met a special friend,show her a photo of him,and explain about his family and where he lives.Keep the first few meetings short and sweet and on neutral territory,such as the park.
   To start with,don't be too open about kissing in front of your tot,as one of you might find it uncomfortable.Be ready for your daughter to either ignore your new partner or stick to your side like glue.Whatever she does,make little comment and don't force either of them to go outside their comfort zone.In the first few weeks,keep your daughter's routines the same and set aside special time together and give her extra cuddles to reassure her.You'll all need time to learn how to be together,so keep it as light-hearted as possible. 




5 tips for successful playdates

1.Time them wisely.Opt for a day when your little one isn't busy to avoid over-stimulating him.
2.Ensure your tot is well fed and rested,and don't skip his nap times.Hungry and tired toddlers don't play easily.
3.Keep time scales realistic.Around on to two hours is probably enough.
4.Put precious toys away,as they're fuel to squabbles.If you're going to someone else's house,let your tot bring toys he's happy for others to play with.
5.Try neutral territory if being at home is difficult,rather than avoiding playdates altogether. 

Q:My one-year-old son is still shuffling around on his bottom,rather than crawlinng.Is this normal?

A:All babies develop different skills - including crawling and walking - at different times.As a rule,bottom shuffling tends to run in families and some babies do it instead of crawling,before getting on to their feet.Tots move onto independent walking at any time from 8 months of age,with around three per cent of babies still not walking by the time they turn 2.If your little one isn't showing any signs of walking by 18 months,you can ask your doctor to monitor his progress.In the meantime,give him plenty of time to play on the floor and move around.You may notice he develops advanced skills in puzzles and hand-eye co-ordination ahead of his more mobile peers.

Q:My 5 month old has started to pull away from the breast after a few minutes.What should I do?

A:Developmentally,your baby's becoming interested in the world,so she's coming off to see what's going on.Try feeding in a quiet area,perhaps facing into a corner,to reduce distractions.Review your latching-on technique to ensure your attachment is still OK.After successfully feeding for five months,it's unlikely your milk supply will be an issue now.But if you want to give it a boost,offer the breast more frequently.
   Teething might also be causing achey gums.Try applying teething gel and offer cooled teething rings before feeds,to reduce discomfort.Finally,remember that babies do change their routines,or have off times,without any obvious reasons!

Q:I know it's best to let my 4 month old sleep in a cot,but he sleeps better in bed with me.Is this safe?

A:Research shows that nearly half of UK mums sleep in bed with their baby at some time.But the safest place for your little on is on his own cot.To reduce the risk of cot death,his cot should be in the same room as you for the first six months.The Department of Health advises against sharing a bed with your baby if you - or your partner - have been drinking alcohol,taking drugs or medicines that cause drowsiness,or if either of you smoke.You should also avoid co-sleeping if either of you are excessively tired,obese or suffer from a condition that could cause loss of consciousness,such as unstable epilepsy,or if you,or your baby,have a fever or signs of illness.Also,never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.Some parents compromise by keeping a cot beside their own bet with the side down,so their child has his own sleep area.

Q:My friend said it's fine to drink alcohol as long as it's not in the first few weeks of pregnancy.Is this true?

A:The Department of Health's current guidelines state that pregnant women should avoid drinking alcohol at any stage.If you do drink,the guidelines say you shouldn't be getting drunk.We do know that some alcohol will go through the placenta and reach your baby.In the first three months,drinking alcohol can increase the risk of miscarriage,so the best thing is to avoid a tipple altogether.
   Lots of women panic,as they've already been drinking before they realised they were pregnant.If that's the case with you,then the best thing you can do is concentrate on eating and drinking as healthily as you can from now on to give your baby the best start possible.

Q:I'm six months pregnant and my hips and pubic bone have started to hurt when I walk.Why is this?

A:You may have a common pregnancy condition called pelvic girdle pain,previously known as symphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD).Pregnancy hormones cause the ligaments to stretch,which loosens the pelvic joints so there's more flexibility during labour.But these changes can lead to pain.
   Your midwife might prefer you to a physiotherapist who can give you exercises or suggest you wear a properly fitted support belt around the pelvis.Try to keep your knees together,swinging both legs round when you get out of a car or bed.
   Good birthing positions are on all fours,or laying on your side.Also measure how far you can open your knees comfortably,then if you're numbed with an epidural,you won't cause any further damage.

Q:Will I be made to go home from hospital soon after I've had my baby,or can I stay in there for a few extra nights?

A:Nobody should make you do anything you don't feel happy doing,but you'll be advised on what's thought best for you and your baby.If you're both well,you may get more rest at home and,as long as you have support from your community midwife,this could be a better option for you.If you prefer to stay overnight,then that should be accommodated,but it's rare for women to stay longer if everything's been straightforward.You may need to stay longer if you've had a c-section,lost a lot of blood,have high blood pressure or if your baby isn't feeding very well or is showing signs of an infection.See how you feel after the birth.Your midwife should ask you what your plans are and whether or not you'd prefer to stay in hospital.Many women are keen to get home where they have support from their partner or family members - as well as their own bathroom and loo!

Q:I'm nervous about getting rid of my 2 year old's dummy,as neither of us could cope.What should I do?

A:Changing any habit is always a bit daunting,but having a good plan in place will make it a little easier.Start by working out the key times when dummy feels essential.It's often bedtime or when one of you feels tired,so make these last areas to tackle.For other times,put the dummy out of reach and introduce fun activities to distract her,such as singing.Start with a clear boundary,such as no dummy outside.Once you're sticking to this,move on to less dummy time during the day and then tackle the sleep times.The first few days may be difficult,so pick a time when you have lots of energy and there are no other changes happening in the family.Getting out to some playgroups may also help as socialising with new friends will keep your tot distracted.

Q:I'm worried my 3 year old is hyperactive as he's always on the go and has poor concentration.Is it a phase?

A:It's hard to say if a toddler is hyperactive at this stage of his development,as the range of what's considered normal is wide.Most tots calm down naturally,but some may need extra support.Talk to his nursery so they can monitor his progress.Sharing what works will give you a picture of what helps or challenges him.Busy kids need lots of running around outdoors,but limit TV time to 30 minutes a day.Keep morning,mealtimes and bedtime routines the same.Clear,consistent boundaries will help him feel safe,as toddlers love predictability and play is the best tool to increase concentration.Try having short 2-10 minute slots where you play together and he has your full attention.It'll take persistence from you,but keep at it.

Q:My 3-year-old daughter has picked up threadworms at nursery.What should I do?

A:Threadworms are small parasites that live in the gut.At night,they lay tiny eggs around the bottom area,causing itchiness.As your tot scratches,eggs get under her fingernails and can quickly transfer to her mouth,clothing and anything else she touches.This continues the cycle and threadworms can quickly spread to the rest of the family.This means everyone will need to be treated,whether they have symptoms or not.Your doctor can prescribe medication,or speak to your pharmacist.Then the whole household needs to follow strict hygiene rules for two weeks.These include washing hands regularly,washing the bottom area carefully each morning to get rid of eggs laid at night,and keeping fingernails short and clean.Wash all sleepwear,bed linen,towels and soft toys,and wipe down all surfaces regularly to remove any eggs.If you don't opt for medication,stick to the hygiene rules for six weeks,as this is the average lifespan of threadworms.

Q:My baby has started bringing milk back up and now his feeding is all out of sync.Is this normal?

Regurgitating small amounts of milk after each feed is called posseting.The difficulty is that babies then get hungry soon after and you can find yourself in a vicious cycle.Your baby's tummy is about the size of his fist,so it's easy to see why he'll bring milk back up if he feeds too quickly or has too much.You can try slowing down the rate of his feed by extra winding and slower flow teats if you're bottle-feeding.After a feed,sit your little one up for a while to let gravity do its job.When you put him down to sleep,raise the head of the whole cot slightly (rather than raising the mattress) so he is at a 30 degrees upward tilt to encourage the milk to stay down.Keep an eye on your baby's growth,too.If he's gaining weight,there's often nothing to worry about.Posseting generally gets better in time,especially as your baby starts to sit up more and the muscles at top of the stomach strengthen.In the meantime,keep muslins at hand and give extra cuddles.

Q:If I need help getting my baby out,will the doctor use forceps or ventouse?

A:About one in eight births in the UK need intervention.To use forceps or ventouse,your cervix needs to be 10cm dilated.Your doctor may suggest this if you're very tired and can no longer push,or your baby isn't progressing downyour pelvis,or is distressed.
   The doctor will decide which instrument to use based on the position of your baby.You'll be asked to push with the contraction while the doctor pulls.Forceps are metal instruments that cradle your baby's head,and ventouse is a cap that's placed on your baby's head and a suction is created to help ease your baby out.
   If your baby can't be born after a couple of attempts,you'll need a c-section.Don't let this worry you,as eight out of 10 women go on to have an unassisted birth next time.

Q:My friend was sent home in early labour and I'm afraid this will happen to me.

A:The midwife actually did your friend a favor,as the longer you stay in a relaxing environment,the more likely your labour will progress normally.If she was struggling,then I really hope she wouldn't have been sent home.Often women in early labour just need reassurance and are happy to carry on as normal.
   At home women tend to walk around,and keeping upright helps the baby move lower into the pelvis.This puts pressure on the cervix and encourages regular contractions.Early labour is the preparation phase when the cervix is moving forward,thinning and shortening.
   Most women can wait until labour is established and the contractions feel strong and regular.However,if you need support at any stage,call your midwife.

Q:I'm eight weeks pregnant and feeling very anxious following an early miscarriage last year.Can I have extra scans?

A:It's understandable to feel worried after suffering a miscarriage.But extra scans won't necessarily take away your anxiety,as a scan can only tell you that everything's OK on the day of the scan.In fact,having more scans may increase anxiety.Most women have their first scan at 11-13 weeks.This is the dating or nuchal scan (a screening scan to determine the chance of a baby having Down's syndrome).You'll then be offered another scan at 18-20 weeks to check the baby developing OK and that the placenta isn't lying over the cervix (placenta praevia).You'll only have additional scans if your midwife is concerned about your baby's growth,or if she's unsure whether your baby is head down by 36 weeks of pregnancy.However,if you feel it's something you still want,discuss it with your midwife.

Q:My daughter was potty trained aged 2,but still soaking her nappy at night.What should I do?

A:Around half of children become try at night in their third year,and some will continue to wet at night until they start school.If this is the case with your child,talk to the school nurse at the end of her reception year.In the meantime,keep up with nighttime nappies,as your tot has no control over her bladder at night yet.
   If nothing major is going on in the family,this should be a good time ti try without a nappy.Buy a waterproof sheet for the bed,and be prepared for extra washing for a while.If accidents happen,don't make a fuss and avoid negative comments when cleaning up.Keep a night light on,with easy access to the loo if she needs to use it.Get her to drink lots of water during the day,as this will help her bladder function.

Q:My son has just started walking and seems to turn his toes in.Should I do something about this?

A:It's fairly common for infants to turn in one or both feet when they start walking,which makes an already wobbly toddler even unsteadier.Give your tot plenty of opportunity to run round barefoot,as this will allow his feet and toes to develop and strengthen without restriction.Make a game of tickling your tot's feet to encourage him to stretch the muscles.
   Every six weeks,get his feet measured to ensure his shoes are the right size,as growing bones can be damaged by ill-fitting shoes.Remember to check sock size too,and make sure sleepsuits don't restrict his toes.Next time you're at your doctors get an opinion on your little one's feet.Most children grow out of this by the time they're 5 or 6,so it shouldn't be a worry.

Q:My two sons,aged 2 and 3,constantly argue and bicker.I'm at the end of my tether.Help!

A:It's tough when siblings argue,as soon it feels like it's the only way they communicate.Try and keep things in perspective and notice when things are going well between them,even if it's fleeting.Point out how kind and polite they're being and how much you like it.
   Try not to intervene too much by asking who did what - you rarely get the whole picture and often just fuel the row.Instead,try and help them find a solution,or if things get too heated,separate them until emotions cool off.This gives everyone the chance to calm down.Try and spend time with each child separately,so they both get some individual attention.
   Avoid encouraging competition - so no races to get ready.Instead,try doing things as a team to encourage cooperation,such as spending five minutes tidying up together.This can be a trying time,so look after you,too.Take time away from the home so you can keep cool when arguments flare.

Q:My baby is 8 months old and I'm still struggling to feel she's really mine.I feel too guilty to discuss it with anyone.Is this normal?

A:It takes a lot of courage to talk about such difficult emotions,but by doing so you've taken the first step to changing things.Around this time,it's common for symptoms of postnatal depression to surface.Typically,new mums feel isolated,guilty,irritable,fatigued,anxious or lacking in confidence.These feelings can delay you bonding with your baby so the sooner you get help the better.
   Talk to those who are close to you,your doctor and health visitor.You'll be surprised to learn that you're not alone in feeling this way.Plus,there are many support groups,as well as activities such as baby massage,that'll help you develop the relationship you want to have with your baby.

Q:Since switching to formula milk my 7 month old's poo looks different.How di I know what's normal?

A:A formula feed takes a little longer to pass through your baby's system,so it's normal for the frequency and consistency of her poo to change.It'll usually be a different colour and more solid than when you where breastfeeding her.She'll poo less often too - every one to three days is fairly typical.
   This takes a little getting used to on her part,so keep an eye on her to make sure she's not constipated.If she is,try a warm bath and some gentle massage in a clockwise swirl on her tummy and back to encourage bowel movement.You could join a baby massage class to learn the techniques.A little warm water can also stimulate the bowel,so you could offer her some between feeds,but never add extra water to her formula milk.

Q:I've breastfed my last two babies without much fuss,but my third baby is slower in gaining weight and seems more unsettled.Any advice?

A:It's frustrating when you're experienced at breastfeeding and still come across difficulties.Get back to basics by focusing on getting your attachment right.Make sure your baby has a wide-open mouth,comes to the breast leading by his chin so his head can tilt back,and takes in the areola,rather than the nipple.
   Review how often you're feeding on demand,too.Sometimes when you're juggling other kids you may find you're rushing your baby's feed before he's really finished or making him wait a while.Focus on getting these things right and you should find his feeding will establish itself,which will help him settle better and gain weight at a steady pace.It takes around four weeks to establish a good breastfeeding routine,so use this time to have lots of skin-to-skin contact,as this will really help things along,too.

Q:A close,elderly relative is terminally ill.How can I prepare my 4 year old?

A:Discussing death can feel like a daunting prospect,but this will help your child enormously in coming to terms with the loss.The death of a pet offers an excellent opportunity to discuss dying,or talk about the death of plants or insects.Explain that death is the end of the life,and try to be factual and truthful.
   Avoid fairy tales about death or using the term "going to sleep",it'll only confuse your little one.Your tot may ask blunt questions,so answer him without too much elaboration.Short,accurate answers are best.
   Explain how the family will be upset and may cry.It helps make the grieving process part of a healthy reaction to losing someone you all care for.Involving your little one in the process of family grieving will be an important life lesson,and preparing him now will help you all.

Q:My son is being tested for toddler diarrhoea.What can we do to help him?

A:Toddler diarrhoea is the most common cause of persistent diarrhoea in 1-5 year olds.The poo is often smelly,contains undigested food and can be watery,and children can do up to 10 poos a day.Apart from the inconvenience,diarrhoea is usually harmless and can be improved with diet changes.
   Tots with diarrhoea often have a low fat diet.While this is good for adults,children need fat.Try swapping to full fat cow's milk and full fat yogurt and cheese.Stick with the normal amount of vegetables and some fruits,and offer wholemeal bread to boost his fibre intake.Apple juice can be culprit,so cut this out for a while,along with other fruit juices.Avoid fruit squash and fizzy drinks,as the extra sugar won't help.Stick to milk and plenty of water for drinks.

Q:My child takes his comfort blanket everywhere with him,but he's starting nursery soon.Is it time to wean him off it?

A:Comforters,such as blanket or special toy,are useful tool for babies and toddlers.It allows them to seek comfort and reassurance on their own terms,for as long and as often as they need.Despite your best efforts,mum and dad are not always available to reassure him.
   Comfort items are particularly useful when your child has a big challenge coming up,like starting nursery.It will remind him of you and of home in those early days,and will probably allow your little one to relax a little and speed up the settling in process.Have a word with the staff and explain how important the blanket is.They'll be used to looking after such treasures.
   When your little one's settled into his new environment,you can work together towards leaving it on the peg for short periods and building up to him managing without it.For the time being it really won't matter.

Q:I'm worried as my baby only settles to sleep on her tummy.Any advise?

A:Placing babies on their back to sleep is the safest position in terms of reducing the risk of cot death.Some babies might be happier on their tummies due to tummy pain and wind discomfort.Slight pressure on the tummy area may also give some relief from colic.Help ease wind symptoms by gently massaging the abdomen,lower back and buttocks.
   To persist with putting her on her back to sleep,as in time she'll adjust and get used to it.Also remember the other important factors of keeping her in a smoke-free environment,putting her feet to the foot of the cot,not letting her overheat,and finally keeping her cot in your room until she's 6 months old.All these routines will be helpful in reducing the risk of cot death. 

Q:My 7 month old shows no interest in weaning.He only holds the food before dropping it.Help!

A:Don't worry that your baby's not eating much at this stage.Anytime from 6 months is good for weaning,but not all babies will be ready at 6 months.Weaning is a gradual process of smelling,touching and licking foods so your baby is just experimenting.
   Carry on offering him a range of finger foods such as toast,pitta breads,cheese,and cooked carrot sticks.Encourage his examination of food with smiles and positive eye contact,and show him how to move on and actually put foods in his mouth.Again,it may take time for him to chew and eventually swallow,but he'll get there.
   From 6 months,babies don't really need calories at night,so swap his milk for water to encourage him to eat more during the day,too.

Q:My baby has started biting me when I breastfeed.Is it time to stop?

A:Biting is common when babies start to teethe,but isn't an indication that he's ready to wean.Before you make a decision to stop feeding,attempt to discourage his biting first.Although it's difficult,try and avoid a loud scream if he bites as this kind of reaction may either re-enforce the behaviour or scare your baby and put him off feeding.
  Instead,quickly remove your baby from the breast,by popping your finger between the breast and his gum.Say a firm 'no' and put him down for a minute.Then latch him on and repeat if he bites again,but leave him off for an extra minute this time.Once babies learn that biting means no feeding,they quickly stop.Biting happens at the end of the feed,so stopping a little early will help.Alternatively,pull your baby in close if you think he'll bite,as this force him to take a breath and come off the breast.Whatever you do,never tap or hit your baby,as he really doesn't want to hurt you.

Q:Why are my boobs so sore?

I am almoust 12 weeks pregnant,and have had extremely sore and tender breasts the whole time.For the last few days I have noticed that my symptoms have subsided.Is this normal or should I be concerned?

A:It is normal for these early symptoms to subside by the end of the first trimester.Sore and tender breasts are often the first sign of pregnancy,sometimes even before you have a positive pregnancy test,and are caused by the hormone HCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin),which is present in increasing amonts during the first trimester.It is this hormone level that is checked for in a positive pregnancy test.These high levels of HCG are also responsible for morning sickness and most other early pregnancy symptoms.By 12 weeks ( the start of the second trimester) HCG levels start to drop,as the placenta takes over the production of the hormones needed.You may find placing a cold,damp flannel on your breasts is soothing,and ensure you are fitted for a supportive bra that is not underwired.Hopefully,you should start to enjoy your pregnancy now!

Q:I'm too tired to get fit

My 1 year old wakes up at 5am most days.I'm so tired that just the thought of getting into my gym kit exhausts me,let alone going for a run or doing an exercise DVD!Any ideas?

A:Try doing something that raises your heart rate early on in the day - dance along the radio,sprint up and down the stairs a few times,or take your baby out for a brisk walk.This will boost blood flow to your brain which ,in turn,will help wake you up and increase energy.Then try to incorporate mini-workouts into the rest of your day;forget going to the gym,do some squats while you brush your teeth or tricep dips while you're waiting for dinner to cook.You can even include your baby in your workout.Hold your baby tightly in front of you as you do a couple of sets of squats,or do baby chest-presses lying on your back.You could also sign up for a mum-and-baby outdoor exercise class.If you commit to a course of classes you'll be more likely to go,especially if you sign up with a friend - that way,you will have double the resolve.

Q:She isn't walking

My 18-month-old daughter still isn't walking and just shuffles around on her bottom.She's never crawled and I'm worried she won't develop the strength she needs in her legs.Should I see a specialist?

A:Babies walk on average at around 13 months old,but there is a big range - some babies walk at 9 months and 98% walk by 18 months.Lots of babies shuffle on their bottoms and never crawl,then just pulling themselves up to "cruise" (using furniture as a support when taking their first steps) and can bear their weight on their legs in the usual way.Chances are that your daughter will just walk a little late,but 18 months is the perfect time to get her checked.Ask your doctor to refer her to your local Child Development Team and they will do a full check.If your daughter favors one arm on one leg when she moves,this is worth mentioning as she might have better strength or coordination on one side.
 In the meantime ,there are things you can do to help her develop strength and balance.Play games where your daughter is on her tummy,such as reaching for toys or swimming with you.Hold her hands and encourage her to practise walking,as this stimulates the development of the part of the brain that controls balance and coordination.Baby Yoga is great - babies and toddlers learn so much in a group class and each yoga movement is designed to promote strength,coordination and balance. 

Q:She needs a feed to fall asleep

My daughter is 6 months and is breastfed.She slept well until she was 4 months old,but since then has woken every couple of hours,needing frequent short feeds or rocking to get back to sleep.I don't think she's hungry during the night as she eats so well in the day.I feel she is using me as a source of comfort.I'm exhausted,but don't know what to do.

A:Your daughter  needs to fall asleep by herself without associating sleep with feeding.You can help teach her before starting her bedtime routine.Offer her milk as you would any daytime feed.Then give her a short,quiet winding-down bath.Go into a dimly lit room to prepare her for bed and then cuddle her to sleep.Initially,it will take longer to settle your daughter to sleep as she learns a new way,but with time and consistency,this will gradually decrease and she will settle without a feed.For the first three nights,you could offer a short top-up feed after the bath,just to ease her into the new schedule.Over the next few weeks,you then need to move on from cuddling to settling her in the cot using patting or stroking,gradually doing less and less until she can fall asleep by herself.You can also use this same approach to stop the feeds and rocking during the night.

Q:Will I be able to conceive?

I came off the Pill a year ago and have only had two periods since.I'm worried that I won't be able to get pregnant.

A: As you've had two periods since stopping the Pill,it means the problem isn't likely to be related to the Pill,but rather something called oligomenorrhoea (infrequent periods),which can be due to a hormone imbalance.It can happen if a woman is very underweight,is very overweight or stressed.It can make ovulation infrequent,so conception is less likely to happen.Or it could be due to polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) that can cause irregural periods.An ultrasound scan and a blood test will diagnose this.Your upcoming hospital tests should shed some light on things.

Q:Are his sleep troubles just attention-seeking?

My baby is 5 months old and since he was 2 months,he has gone to bed at around 6pm and slept through.For the past couple of weeks,however,he's cried for over an hour before dropping off.Is he just trying it on,hoping to get a cuddle?

A: A sudden change in sleeping routine at this age is common.The most likely culprit is pain from teething.Look out for other telltale symptoms such as increased dribbling,runny poo and flushed cheeks.
 You could try giving him teething powders or gel to ease the pain.Or give him some baby paracetamol 20 minutes before bedtime.But to try to put him down before he falls asleep completely,otherwise he'll associate cuddles with falling asleep and it will be more difficult for him to self-settle.You can always stay near him for a little while if he's clingy.

Q:Mealtimes are a nightmare

My toddler is so picky about food.Her dad thinks we should bribe her to eat with rewards of TV or sweets but I don't agree.As she gets worse,we're now arguing about how to deal with it.

A:Toddlers are notorius for being picky about food and it's perfectly normal at this age.Bear in mind that if being fussy about food gets attention then your toddler has a good reason for behaving like that.
 Even the fussiest toddlers will usualy eat enough to meet their needs,so try to avoid getting into rows over how to coax her to eat more.What's important is that you both respond consistently to her fussy eating.
 Aim to keep mealtimes relaxed.Sit down and eat together as a family whenever you can and set a good example by letting your child see you enjoying mealtimes.Let her eat as much as she wants and remove her plate without comment at the end of the meal.That way she'll learn that being fussy doesn't get attention.Avoid using bribes to coax your child to eat,otherwise she'll expect something in return every time she finishes a meal - this is bad habit to get into.Reward your toddler by praising her and giving her a cuddle when she eats well. 

Q:How can I stop feeling so sick?

I'm nine weeks pregnant and feel so queasy.I have heard that exercise can help,but even the thought of it makes me feel even worse.Please help!

A:Poor you!Blame those raging hormones - they can make you feel sick,cause vomiting,loss of appetite and have an adverse effect on your bowel movements.Exercise can help,however.Regular exercisers find that nausea is absent during exercise,and although it may resume afterwards,it is usually less intense.Small,frequent meals may help,as will light,aerobic exercise such as brisk walking,stationary cycling,or swimming and weight training - using light weights with many repetitions.If you're feeling particularly poorly,a walk in the fresh air while concentrating on your breathing and posture may ease nausea.Small regular sips of water can also help,and will allow you to exercise for longer.
 Remember,even though you may be suffering,your baby is protected and will be coping far better than you.If you experience extreme nausea and vomiting,see your midwife or doctor. 

Q:I can't potty train my little girl

I'm finding it hard to potty train my 3-year-old daughter.I've tried reward charts and bribery,but she just doesn't seem to "get it".I've even tried taking her nappy off completely but then she refuses to poo and wets herself.Help!

A:Regardless of your child's age,they have to be ready to start toilet training and show an interest.
 The first stage is when they are able to tell you that they are doing a poo or wee in their nappy after event.
 The second stage is when they can tell you that they are doing a poo or wee,and the third stage is when they can tell you that they are about to do a poo or wee.
 On reaching the third stage,a child needs to understand what the toilet or potty is for.They learn this most effectively by watching you,so consider taking your little girl into the bathroom with you.I'd suggest you take a brake for a few weeks and start afresh using the tips here.Be patient,stay upbeat and your little girl will soon get the hang of it.

Q:Will my body ever be the same?

I'm 36 weeks pregnant.Recently I've been worrying about my vagina being stretched and disfigured after giving birth.Will it ever go back to normal?

A:This is a very common concern.After a vagina delivery,some women feel as though they will never regain their pre-pregnancy tone and shape in this area.However,your vagina will gradually regain much of its former tone,and the pelvic floor exercises to help strengthen the area in preparation for birth - your midwife will advise on how to do them.
 You should be feeling more like your old self by about six months after the birth - your body does need time to recover though,so be patient and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Q:He doesn't want daytime naps

My 4-month-old baby used to nap really well when I took him out in the pushchair,but he now only catnaps for about 20 minutes and then is grumpy for the rest of the day - just like me!

A:Usually around 4 months,your baby is becoming much more aware of his surroundings and doesn't want to miss out on everything!The best solution is to use a good blackout shade for the pushchair when you're out and about so he can't see what's going on,which will encourage him to sleep.
 Alternatively,consider putting him down in his cot at home at a set time for his nap.That way,at least he'll be having one fairly long nap during the day - and you get to put your feet up! 

Q:We are planning a house move with our six-month-old baby.How can we make settling into a new area as stress-free as possible?

A: Any big change is going to be stressful,no matter how positive.But you can make the experience less painful with a bit of planning.Start by making a list of everything that needs to be done.Work out which jobs are priority,which can be delegated,and how long each task will take.Then transfer the list to your diary to give you a timescale and plan.
 You should also factor in time to research the area you're moving to.Find five things you could attend,such as local baby and toddler groups,then but the details in your diary - including directions.This can help you get integrated when you arrive.Also make sure you register for your new doctor's surgery in advance,so your baby doesn't miss health visitor appointments and check-ups.
 On the day of the move,try and keep your baby's routine the same to avoid disruption.Pack a separate suitcase that travels with you and contains all the items you'll need for the first few days,such as feeding kit,toys,cot sheets and clothes.This will help you feel in control and your baby will be comfortable,meaning you can get on with the move.Once you arrive in your new home,help her feel at ease by introducing her to her new bedroom and setting up her cot in the same way as before,so she recognises it and is able to settle in more aesily.

Q: I'm 14 weeks pregnant and would like to start swimming
I find doing lengths in the pool a bit boring - can you suggest any exercises that can make swimming a bit more interesting?

A: Water is a great environment to work out in,as it supports your bump and adds resistance,so your muscles work harder.

1.Jog in the water. Bring your knees up and push your arms forward and back.Keep jogging on the spot for 3 to 4 minutes to tone arms and legs.

2.Try bicycle kicks. Hold on to the side of the pool with your back against the wall.Start kicking your legs in front of you as if you're riding a bicycle.Continue for 3 to 4 minutes.

3.Tone those arms! Stand with feet apart,knees bent.Now lift your arms to the height of your shoulders,and back down.Pull your arms down towards you,breathing out as you do so,and push up again hard.

Q: Are his bowel movements normal?
I'm breastfeeding my 7-week-old son.He dirties his nappies about four times a day and has constant wind and nappy rash.Is he pooing too much?He is fed every three to four hours and feeds well.

A: Many parents wonder if their baby has diarrhoea because bowel movements in a newborn occur frequently.A baby's bowel movements will depend on whether he is being breast - or formulafed. The bowel movements of breastfed newborns are usually yellowish,on the soft side and may occur up to five times a daily.Within a month,most babies are down to one or two movements a day.
 If your baby is frequently passing smelly,watery,mucusstreaked stools (looking like you blew your nose in your child's nappy) or if he has a fever or is losing weight,it may be diarrhoea,so consult your doctor.

Q: I can't sleep,can't get comfy and my bump keeps going hard.Is this normal?
I am 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby and find it so hard to sleep.I have a maternity pillow,but can't get comfy.I also have hip pain,and am worried because my bump seems to go hard occasionally.Are all these things normal?

A: By 29 weeks,your body is changing dramatically.The high levels of the pregnancy hormone progesterone act as a muscle relaxant and your abdominal and pelvic ligaments stretch to accommodate your expanding uterus.This can cause hip and pelvic discomfort.The hip pain may also be due to the position of your baby,who may be lying on your sciatic nerve.If the pain persists,you should ask your midwife on doctor to refer you to an obstetric physiotherapist.
 There are some simple remedies you could try to help you sleep better.Sleep on your side with your legs bent,with a pillow between your knees so that it supports your entire leg rather than just the knee.
 The "tightenings" you are experiencing are completely normal,and are called Braxton Hicks,which are "practice" contractions.They can occur several times a day,last up to a minute,and may become more frequent as your pregnancy progresses.However,if they become painful or are associated with other symptoms,see your midwife or doctor.Take things slowly and look after yourself!

Q: How long until my periods come back?

Q: How long until my periods come back?
I had a miscarriage seven weeks ago and haven't had a period since then.I took another pregnancy test,but it was negative.If I'm not pregnant,how long will I need to wait for my period?

A: It can take a little while for your periods to return normal.Bleeding often continues for around seven to 10 days following a misscarriage and menstruation returns after four to six weeks.If your periods were irregular before,the miscarriage,they may take longer to come back.
 Fertility usually returns before your next period,so if you "feel" pregnant again,but a home test is negative,you could still be pregnant - it may be too early to show up.Try repeating the test again in a week or so,or ask your doctor for a blood test.Both the blood and urine tests measure the levels of the hormone HCG,which increases in pregnancy.
 Don't be disheartened if you are not pregnant,and try to keep positive.Give your body and mind time to recover,and your periods time to return to normal.
 Good luck with the next pregnancy.  

Q:Are baby bouncers safe?

Q: Are baby bouncers safe?
A work colleague has told me that she'd never put her baby in a bouncer or a walker,as they can give the baby bowed legs.I have a 1-year-old boy and,until recently,would put him in his bouncer for about an hour a day.Could this have damaged him?

A: Stationery walkers that swivel,rock or bounce (eg. baby bouncer) are fine for short periods of time,as long you observe the age restrictions and follow the instructions carefully.
 However,baby walkers - that is,devices that enable a baby to whizz around a room - can be extremely dangerous as they give babies extra speed,extra height and access to various hazards.It's easy to assume that when a baby is occupied in his walker or bouncer he is safe and can be left unsupervised for short periods.In reality,extra vigilance is needed.
 Baby walkers won't help your baby learn to walk,either - in fact,using one too much may delay this slightly,as a baby need to roll,crawl and sit unrestricted in order to develop the skills needed to stand and walk.

Q: What's best for baby skin?

Q: What's best for baby skin?
Is it best to use a specific detergent and softener for my baby's clothes?Also the baby towel I've bought is shedding lots of fluff-is this bad for my baby's breathing?

A: Research involving adults with eczema found that the kind of detergent used,whether biological or non-biological,made no difference to their skin.However,many people prefer to use a non-bio detergent for washing children's clothes.But really,it's a case of trial and error,as well as personal preference.
 The same goes for fabric softener.On the one hand,you may choose not to expose your child's skin to additional  chemicals.
On the other,you may find that using a softener makes fabrics less likely to irritate delicate skins.General advice is to use cotton towels and clothes,and to moisturise a child's skin once or twice a day unless advised otherwise.
 The towel you're using shouldn't put your child's health at risk if it's intended for a baby and is from a reputable shop,but if you're still worried,I'd suggest buyng another towel.

Q:She wakes so early!

Q: She wakes so early!
My 3-year old daughter has started to wake up around 5am.She cries if I leave her and I can't seem to get her back to sleep at this time.She is shattered by 11.30am and will sleep for two hours.At bedtime,she is asleep by 7.30pm.Any advice would be much appreciated!

A: The average sleep for a 3 year old is around 12 hours,so she is getting the right amount of sleep,just at the wrong time.A lot of children of your daughter's age will be consolidating all their sleep at night and having very little or no sleep in the day.
 I would suggest slowly reducing her nap,so she starts to sleep later in the morning.Initally reduce her nap to 45 minutes;this in itself may resolve the problem and enable her to sleep later.
 As her wake-up time gets later,you will also need her nap time to after lunch.Further nap reduction may be necessary after a few weeks,dropping town to just 20 minutes.
Then,over the next month or two,eventually stop her naps altogether,replacing them with "quiet time" instead.

.Q: Will diet affect my breastmilk?

Q: Will diet affect my breastmilk?
I'm breastfeeding my 3-month old baby girl.Will what I eat and drink affect her?

A: Most breastfeeding mums can eat what they like,but some foods seem to upset or be linked to colic in some babies.
 Common culprits include onions,cabbage,garlic,spices,dairy food and citrus fruit.If you think this may be the case,avoid those praticular foods for a day or two to see if it makes a difference.But always speak to your doctor before cutting foods out,because you could become deficient in certain nutrients.
 Caffeine and alcohol pass into breastmilk and can affect your baby's feeding,digestion and sleeping.So avoid too much tea,coffee and cola and other soft drinks containing caffeine,and keep your alcohol intake low.Current advice to breastfeeding women is to drink no more than one or two units of alcohol once or twice a week and to avoid drinking before feed.You may prefer to stop drinking alcohol altogether. 
 You should also check with your doctor or pharmacist that any medication you need to take is safe while you are breastfeeding.

Q: How can I exercise safely in pregnancy?

I'm used to being very active and would like to continue to exercise during my pregnancy.How can I make sure I stay safe?

A: It's great you're keen to stay fit, and if you follow a few rules, it's perfectly safe for you and your baby. You can feel tired during the first trimester, but exercise can re-energise you. Providing you get the OK from your doctor, you can exercise safely for up to 30 minutes a day, four to five days a week.Have a snack before exercising to keep your blood sugar levels up and stay hydrated by drinking water before,during and after your session.
  Your second trimester is a great time to exercise. Some activities should be avoided, though - anything that carries a risk of falling,activities requiring balance and agility, and those involving lying on your back for long periods or that mean twisting the upper body. Go for a moderate cardiovascular exercise, such as swimming,walking or stationary cycling, but ensure that you can hold a conversation while exercising!
  Keep your exercise regime up in your third trimester, as being fit prepares you for labour. Don't overdo the stretching, though, as your ligaments are more supple now, putting you at greater risk of injury than usual. You need to rest, too. Get one hour of rest for every hour of exercise.Seek urgent medical help if you experience any of these while exercising: *severe localised pain,
                                                                   *vaginal bleeding or feeling unwll generally.

Q: How can I tell if my baby is teething?

A: It's anyone's guess when your baby will get his first teeth - he could be born with them ;he could be still toothless at 1 - but more than likely he'll let you know they're on the way...

Classic signs are:
*Swollen and red gums
*Redness on the cheeks
*Dribbling
*A sudden desire to gnaw on everything (offer teethers)
*Sore skin around the chin and mouth ( caused by dribble)
*Disturbed sleep
*Ear pulling

Other signs parents pick up on - but could be symptoms of something else:
*Appetite loss
*Nappy rash and/or very dirty/runny nappies
*Slight fever