Q:We had a difficult time recently and have relied on TV to distract our toddler.How should we break the habit now things are calmer?

A:The main issue with too much telly is that it's a passive activity,doesn't require much interaction and can be addictive.This may lead to less chance for your tot to develop language,play and social skills,and get enough physical activity.However,everything in moderation is a sensible approach.
   Set some family rules;decide which programmes your tot can watch,ideally no longer than 30 minutes a day,and stick to it.Try to watch the programme together and chat about it to develop her language skills.Make the most of the house,as this will create less opportunity to watch TV and keep your toddler stimulated,active and curious about the world.

Q:My 3 year old has picked up a swear word.How should I deal with it?

A:When using a swear word your toddler enjoys the look of shock,frustration,and perhaps even amusement that he may see on grown-ups' faces,which will only encourage him.Totally ignoring the word is often the quickest way to stop him saying it.So all the adults in his life need the same consistent approach when he swears - keep a straight face,avoid eye contact,turn away and focus on something else.Inevitably your tot may increase the behaviour for a few days as he tries to get the reaction he's used to,but stick with it and he'll soon get bored.You could also try and replace the word with another like "Oh bother",or something made up and funny,but keep the focus on the swear word to minimum.Make sure everyone minds their language at home,too.

Q:My 4 year old is still wetting the bed.I'm too embarrassed to talk to other mums about it.What should I do?

A:Research suggest that 1 in 5 children still aren't dry at night by the time they're 4 to 5 years old,so don't be embarrassed as it's a common issue.Your child's not yet at an age for you to worry,but you can take steps to help her.Encourage her to drink fluids during the day,at her age,it should be 1-1.4 litres a day (avoid caffeinated drinks,such as cola).This should make her wee around 4-7 times a day,including before bedtime.Don't reward dry nights as it's out of her control,but you can reward her for taking regular drinks and loo breaks.Buy some protective mattress covers and light pyjamas that wash and dry easily.Keep any night bed changes short and sweet,to keep her self-esteem intact.If she's still reliably wet at night by the time she starts school,ask the school nurse for support.

Q:My toddler terrified of insects.What can we do to make summer bearable?

A:When a child meets insects for the first time,it often goes one of two ways - endless fascination or worry and anxiety.If your tot shows fear by crying or shouting at you to get the bug away from him,what he really wants is to see what you do.Your reaction will tell him whether he needs to worry or not.If you start frantically swatting the bug away,it sends a clear message that there's something to be scared of.
    So when your toddler reacts to an insect,stay calm,acknowledge what he's seen and that he doesn't like it ("Yes,I can see the wasp,and I know you're not keen on those").This tells him you understand his fear.The next step is to just carry on with what you were all doing,or distract him with something new.This kind of calm response will see his confidence grow.

Q:My 2 year old has started to throw major tantrums,resulting in her being sick if we don't give in.Help!

A:Tantrums are reassuringly common,with one in five 2 year olds having at least once a day.They are more common at this age because your tot's frustrated at not being able to express her needs.As her communication skills develop,tantrums will decrease.
   Your tot is so overwhelmed with emotion that she's being sick,but try to avoid focusing on this if you can,as it just reinforces the behaviour.Try and work out if there's reason for her tantrum,such as tiredness or hunger,and deal with it before it goes too far.Avoid common triggers,such as long shopping trips.If a tantrum is looming,try to distract her.It's hard to keep calm,but your toddler is losing control and that's scary for her so she needs you to be able to cope.

Q:My 18 month old started pulling my hair while I was pregnant.How can I get him to stop?

A:Hair pulling often starts as an accidental tug,which provokes a reaction from you.Your tot will then pull your hair again,causing an even bigger reaction,and so a cycle of bad behaviour begins.Your pregnancy may have triggered it because he was jealous,and he quickly learned that hair pulling gets a response - even if it's not a nice one,it's better than no attention at all.Next time he pulls your hair,calmly take his hand from your head,avoid eye contact,put him down,and walk away.When the situation has cooled,tell him that hair pulling is not allowed and that he must be gentle.Initially he may be confused and up the rate of hair pulling.The whole family needs to be consistent in its approach.Don't talk about it when your son's around,as it's just giving him attention in a different way.Combine this approach with lots of praise when he's gentle,and talk about his good behaviour when he's in earshot.

Q:My maternity leave is up and I want to express milk at work.My employer is sympathetic and has asked what I need.Any tips?

A:It takes a little organisation to express at work hours but once you get settled into a routine it'll be fine.You'll need a private room,such an empty office,and access to a fridge for storing milk (make sure you label your bottles to avoid milk mix-ups!).You'll also need to take breast pads,bottles,and change of tops just in case.At work,try to express regularly so your breasts don't get uncomfortably full.Carrying a picture of your baby can help when expressing,but the most important thing is to be relaxed.Always label your stored milk with the date and time of expressing,and use a cool bag to take your milk home.